Kombinat! Marketing Corporation of Worst Practices Mission Statement
Our Mission Statement. -
We don't have one yet but by the time we finish this post we hope to scrape some bird shit off the sidewalk and glue some words with it to have a kick ass mission statement. Scraper and Glue in hand. Here we go. Let's explore.
Where do we start? Definitions; what do we see when we start
looking up definitions of 'mission'? - "a special assignment that a is given to a person or a group" - "an operation that is assigned by a higher headquarters"
The word 'Assignment' just went Splat Splat on our brain. - Hm...
We can 'assign something to ourselves' like a homework or a work order, huh?! - Or we 'assign ourselves to something' which is a bit different. It's like you take on something that is maybe not very well articulated and you constitute yourself as that. (you can also prostitute yourself as that too as seen by Enronited Corporations worldwide) - (There was a long discussion we've had at the HQ and decided to delete it from the public eyes. It was embarrassing and long too. Louie finally won by forcing us to explain why we are even doing this mission statement, so...)
Hello Visitors (I swear I am writing this with Louie holding a 55 caliber machine gun to my head so there). Welcome to our website. Please read our Mission Statement which will explain who we are.. (ok, Louie just went out for a smoke break so we can just write so I will cover this quickly) - Well, because we are starting Kombinat! Marketing Corporation of Worst Practices aka Gonzo Marketing Outfit (Remind me to tell you why we decided to do this). - (A quick note: We are already really really huge on another continent (no, not that one - that other one) and we are ready to take over America by storm. - Few words about the Storm, they say when you are gonna take something over it's best when it's done by storm, or as Bible says by Flood, and of course you can't discount the stormy waters of Red Sea after Moses and his people crossed. --- well, let's not be too graphical about what happened afterwards.)
(Shit, Louie is back.)
So, mission is something you may assign something to yourself, or self to something or even self to some other self - this assignment is like transfer - you transfer, you embody, you constitute yourself (... louie is looking I have to pretend I am writing this mission statement) - you transfer some part of self to something therefore you make that something part of you, you make it important just by the virtue of assignment. (that's easy you know, this assignment part, this mission statement formulation, the hard part is to stay true to this assignment over time.)
Having just discussed the mechanism of a mission statement we need now to find 'the something' and we just need to reshuffle words found in english vocabulary to formulate it as a string of words that read out loud inspire you and me (and Louie too, definitely must inspire Louie or there will be bullet holes on a sidewalk and no amount of glue is gonna fix that)
So, let's get inspired by a mission statement.
